Missing You Always

Happy Monday everyone!

Lately, I’ve seriously put blogging on the back burner. School, work, friends, and mainly laziness are to blame. Today, however, is a new day and I’d like to end my back burning streak.

But before I move on like nothing has happened during my blogging hiatus, I feel the need to share with you a very tragic loss that myself and many others have recently suffered.

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For those of you who are no stranger to HNC, you can probably recognize Stephen, otherwise known as “The Boyfriend”. Stephen left this world on October 18, 2013 and with him he took a piece of me.

Over the years I’ve watched many close friends experience great losses but was blessed to be strangers with tragedy until now.

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It’s unfortunate what you realize when someone is gone…

And in many ways it’s fortunate the life lessons you take from those realizations.

The relationship I was lucky enough to share with Stephen was so much deeper than just being able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. He knew me better than anyone else and still wanted to get to know me further. He was truly my very best friend and the closest person to me so far in my lifetime.

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Stephen was a friend to many. He was so caring, loving, and thoughtful. He was too smart for his own good. He was outgoing and musically gifted. Self conscious and sometimes shy yet he made me feel more confident than ever before. Stephen was inspiring and motivating. He was excellent at arguing and a pretty good asshole at times. He was ticklish beyond words. Had a fetish with Q-tips and cleaned his ears an unhealthy amount. He loved the beach and had a odd obsession with Colorado. He scuba dived, sky dived, drove from Alabama to Colorado, and even rode an elephant. He was an amazing, perfect person with the most beautiful heart.

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I think about you all the time, everyday. Everywhere I look I see you. Everything around me makes me remember times spent with you. I miss your laugh so much it hurts. At times I doubt my ability to handle the pain of missing you and question whether or not time really does heal.

Even though I’d do absolutely anything in my power to bring you back I find comfort knowing you’re in a better place than all of us on earth. I know you’ve found peace and your only emotion is happy. We used to laugh at how cheesy it was that our “song” in junior high was Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus but now I think the irony is beautiful.

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I am beyond thankful for all the precious memories I was so fortunate to share with you. The good times and the bad times, I wouldn’t trade one second I spent with you for anything in the world. You’ve taught me so much already and I know you’d want the best for me and everyone else. Thank you for being every bit of you. I will always love you.

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Until we meet again. Missing you always.

11 thoughts on “Missing You Always”

  1. Claire, this made me cry my eyes out. I miss him too. I’m not sure if you remember me from school, and we used to play together when we were little with max and Sara. I miss Stephen so much. Anytime I was at Brock Phillips house he was always there making Ellie and I laugh.

    1. Of course I remember you, Clairon! I’m glad you liked my post. I miss him, too. We must be thankful we’re lucky enough to have memories of him making us laugh. 🙂

  2. Hello Claire, I am new to your blog and so today’s post was the first of yours I have read. I am so sorry for the loss of someone you obviously loved so dearly. What an ache you must feel. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope and pray that as time passes, your ache dissipates so that your memories are only filled with joyful tears and warm memories. May God bless you in the struggle you must endure for now. Take good care. Warmly~ Michele Sparrow

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