I’m home this week for the NFL Draft. We have a lot of family making their way in town sometime tomorrow along with plenty of hometown friends that will be hanging out over here for the next few days. I’m pretty excited and a little anxious to see what the future will unfold!
Anyways, before I make my way to the dock for some sun bathing I wanted to share this really awesome product that was sent to me by Kiss Me Organics few weeks ago.
Matcha Green Tea Powder is an excellent source of antioxidants and the perfect “add-in” to a smoothie for an extra boost of energy. Plus it’s organic which is a quality I absolutely LOVE in a product.
I’ve only used the Matcha Green Tea Powder in my smoothies but the package encourages users to try it as a latte and add in as an extra ingredient when baking. A few Amazon reviews said that the powder was not very desirable to drink when it was mixed with water alone so I think I’ll try using it the next time I bake something.
You can find Matcha Green Tea Powder by Kiss Me Organics on Amazon and Amazon Prime. I’d definitely recommend that anyone give it a try, especially smoothie addicts who might be looking to add a bit of pazazz to their run of the mill smoothie.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to enjoy this beautiful day! Hope you are also, wherever you might be!
Yesterday it was sunny and then it rained and then the sun came out and then it rained and then when the sun decided to come out for a third time I decided to go for a run.
It’s been months since I went for a run outside but today something inside of me told me I would feel better after a run so rather than ignoring that something inside of me, I listened.
Shortly into my run I unconsciously started relating my journey through grief thus far to running.
I seem to have misplaced my iPod shuffle that I typically use when I workout so I grabbed the old iPod Touch I bought to fill with Stephen’s iTunes library. It has 7,317 songs on it which is still only a portion of his music collection.
I love to listen to Stephen’s music because in a way it makes me feel closer to him knowing I’m getting lost in the same songs he used to get lost in.
The first mile of any run is usually the most difficult for me. But almost immediately following that mile I settle in, find my stride (which resembles that of a duck), and my breathing becomes rhythmic. Yesterday was nothing out of the ordinary.
A good run in my opinion is one where I can get lost in my thoughts, like I’m invisible inside myself just observing the world around me. It’s very healing to get lost in a world while giving it all of your attention at the same time. (If that makes any sense?)
The song Ocean by John Butler Trio came on during my run and after a while I began to wonder when it would end. I checked just to see and the song lasts for 12 minutes and 28 seconds. Stephen would have a 12+ minute song with no words on his iPod so I wasn’t surprised.
But it was the perfect song for my thoughts at that moment so I put it on repeat. (More like I listened to it about 2 and 1/2 more times.)
There are parts of every run of mine where I get a boost of motivation and my pace speeds up, I’m full of adrenaline and nothing can slow me down. At other times, I’m running so slow I might as well be walking – actually I’d probably be moving faster if I were walking. I get angry on some runs and curse every time my feet meet the ground and push off it again. On others, I swear I close my eyes, tilt my head to the sun, and smile because it feels so incredible.
Regardless, I keep moving.
Running isn’t always easy, in fact, it can be very uncomfortable. But that’s the point.
You slow down, you speed up, you run in circles, over hills, down hills, and on straight-away flats. You might trip or even fall down. Sometimes all you want to do it stop and that’s ok.
But you can’t give up.
I can’t give up.
You can stop to catch your breath, tie your shoe, take a drink of water, or in my case burp lunch which didn’t have time to fully digest.
Yesterday (aside from the burping), I stopped to take a moment and enjoy a beautiful view that made me thankful for the presence – something to be so, so thankful for. After my brief stop, I felt like there was a new breeze in my face and wind at my back. It felt good to start my run again.
Usually, I never let myself stop but I’m really glad I did yesterday. I think it’s important to let yourself know that it’s ok and almost necessary at times to stop for a moment. You know your body and its limits better than anyone else and believe it or not, that little voice inside of you that’s quietly telling you to do something usually knows what’s best. Whether you’re running or just living, taking a moment to let yourself breathe and just be thankful for the beauty of presence can be the perfect boost of motivation to never give up.
Running is about constantly pushing yourself past your level of comfort in order to find a new one.
As humans we are constantly changing. In fact, the struggle to survive is an effort to constantly cope with change and in order to be able to cope with change we must learn. Learning is a change in behavior due to experiences and change and learning can be very uncomfortable. But just like with running, once we push ourselves past one comfort level we find a new one and with that new comfort level we become stronger.
I’m in the process of learning to cope with such a drastic change in my life and it still feels too impossible to be real. But know that I am not giving up regardless of how I may appear to an observer. I am still moving and whether I realize it or not I am a little stronger with every passing day.
I had a completely different post drafted that I had planned on posting in place of this but this one seemed to fit better. The purpose of this post is to let those who might be wondering know that I haven’t given up on blogging. However, I hope you all can understand that I am a different person now and HNC will be different also, but for the better.
I have some product reviews, possibly a giveaway, and plenty of recaps up my sleeve for you all so get ready.
Lately, I’ve seriously put blogging on the back burner. School, work, friends, and mainly laziness are to blame. Today, however, is a new day and I’d like to end my back burning streak.
But before I move on like nothing has happened during my blogging hiatus, I feel the need to share with you a very tragic loss that myself and many others have recently suffered.
For those of you who are no stranger to HNC, you can probably recognize Stephen, otherwise known as “The Boyfriend”. Stephen left this world on October 18, 2013 and with him he took a piece of me.
Over the years I’ve watched many close friends experience great losses but was blessed to be strangers with tragedy until now.
It’s unfortunate what you realize when someone is gone…
And in many ways it’s fortunate the life lessons you take from those realizations.
The relationship I was lucky enough to share with Stephen was so much deeper than just being able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. He knew me better than anyone else and still wanted to get to know me further. He was truly my very best friend and the closest person to me so far in my lifetime.
Stephen was a friend to many. He was so caring, loving, and thoughtful. He was too smart for his own good. He was outgoing and musically gifted. Self conscious and sometimes shy yet he made me feel more confident than ever before. Stephen was inspiring and motivating. He was excellent at arguing and a pretty good asshole at times. He was ticklish beyond words. Had a fetish with Q-tips and cleaned his ears an unhealthy amount. He loved the beach and had a odd obsession with Colorado. He scuba dived, sky dived, drove from Alabama to Colorado, and even rode an elephant. He was an amazing, perfect person with the most beautiful heart.
I think about you all the time, everyday. Everywhere I look I see you. Everything around me makes me remember times spent with you. I miss your laugh so much it hurts. At times I doubt my ability to handle the pain of missing you and question whether or not time really does heal.
Even though I’d do absolutely anything in my power to bring you back I find comfort knowing you’re in a better place than all of us on earth. I know you’ve found peace and your only emotion is happy. We used to laugh at how cheesy it was that our “song” in junior high was Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus but now I think the irony is beautiful.
I am beyond thankful for all the precious memories I was so fortunate to share with you. The good times and the bad times, I wouldn’t trade one second I spent with you for anything in the world. You’ve taught me so much already and I know you’d want the best for me and everyone else. Thank you for being every bit of you. I will always love you.
This past weekend I headed home with a few of my favorite people to visit a few more of my favorite people. Camping, football, and a lot of chillaxin’ was involved.
I brought my camera on our camping trip so that’s where the pictures are coming from today. There’s nothing better than a good candid shot. Am I right?
Anyone have an Eno hammock?
They’re pretty neat little gadgets.
Here’s a glimpse at my paparazzi skills…
(Corey is an L.L. Bean model by the way.)
Good people, good times. Nothing like it.
Ohhh check dat fyyyuuuhhh.
After camping last weekend I am fully ready for fall to roll in. It’s my favorite season by far and I’m itching to bust out my boots and cozy sweaters, whip up batches of chili, and watch the colors change while sitting on my balcony. Ahhh…
Anything fun planned for the upcoming weekend?
I’ll leave you with this happy picture and happy quote. Wishing everyone a great rest of the week!
“Whatever creates or increases happiness or some part of happiness, we ought to do; whatever destroys or hampers happiness, or gives rise to its opposite, we ought not to do.” - Aristotle